I'm trying to figure out when grooming of all my bodily hair became so......Necessary? I don't remember spending much time or money on it during my 20’s or even 30’s, something about hitting 40 must have done it.
It didn't happen at once, it grew insidiously kind of like unwanted hair. It culminated today perhaps because I had so many procedures on the same day. I felt like such a vain, stupid waste of time and money and I was a little embarrassed. But onward…
Hair procedure number one: That was an eyebrow shaping, ok looks nice, my face looks more polished, not outrageously expensive. I can live with that.
Hair procedure number two: Bikini wax. You know, “down below”? They asked if I wanted a brazilian, when they explained what a brazilian wax was I said I’d rather have my fingernails pulled off one by one. Do you know what a brazilian wax is? I’m too embarrassed to tell you, but I hear it hurts like hell, and in my humble opinion looks pretty strange.
I said just the basic clean-up thank you very much. I’m not planning on anyone actually seeing the result, but I don’t know, just in case?
Hair procedure number three: Hair color. If I did not color my hair, it would be totally gray, isn’t that scary? I’m too young to walk around with a head of white hair! And since my natural color is brown, when it grows out just a wee little bit, it looks like a raccoon stripe and I have to head back for more color.
Hair procedure number four: I must have highlights! It just gives you that extra little shiny lift. The colorist says it’s addictive like cocaine…and I can see why.
Hair procedure number five: (I am losing count by now), hair cut and blow out, can I count them as one? My hair looks great! I was afraid to see the bill so I signed it without looking, I don’t recommend this but it was the only way.
Hair procedure number six: When I got home I still need to lighten what could be construed as a bit of a mustache, not expensive, but takes time and you have to sit still to ensure you don’t get bleach on everything.
Hair procedure number seven: Ok this is the most embarrassing of all…I have a few chin hairs, ok I said it but I had to hold my breath.
Chin hairs makes me think of someone’s sweet yet zany old grandmother who can’t see well so she doesn’t know she has hairs growing out of her chin. My best friend and I have already made a pact to pluck them for each other when we are old and losing it.
Last but not least: Leg and underarm shaving….I’m not counting these, they are mundane but all together quite necessary.
What is the point of all this? The sad thing was that when it was all done, none of it seemed extra or unnecessary.
Each procedure was totally needed and the end I felt polished, pulled together and pretty darn good….other than the fact I didn’t have any money left to actually go out and my basic values were deeply on question.
Email this Blog
