Women of our generation have been trained to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient in every way…financially, emotionally, socially. Don’t get me wrong, being strong and empowered are wonderful things. But Susan and I have found a common thread that weaves through pretty much every female client we have ever had….they are so afraid of being vulnerable because it means they might get hurt. And who wants to set themselves up for that?
How can you blame them for wanting to protect themselves? It’s such a foreign, frightening, and fraught feeling that they stop themselves every time. But, we have learned something very important….that in order to connect with a man you have to go through the vulnerable stage or you won’t make room to let him in, and show him and simply show him that he’s needed.
It doesn’t mean the first time you let your proverbial hair down that he’s going to want to run to the alter, it just means that we all need to practice the simple feeling of vulnerable and needing someone. We hear it over and over from wonderful single guys…they say “gosh, she doesn’t seem to need anyone” or there’s no room for me in her busy life.”
Being open, needing love, making room, being vulnerable…all these things are so scary and feel risky. The greater risk you run is not letting someone in and being alone. As hard as it is, if you really want to connect, being vulnerable is a must.
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Comments
This is really good advice.
This is really good advice. Making yourself vulnerable is really difficult
and sometimes terribly scary. Thanks enjoyed this blog.