www.zgoddess.com

It appears that our heros, leaders and princes of industry are
crashing on a daily basis.  From a wall-street genius to crooked con-man overnight, Bernard Madoff is the most recent.  And how about Ellot Spitzer, New York's respected Governor and arbitor of the highest code of moral ethics, well, we all know about him.  Shall I go on?  I think you get the point.

If there ever was an icon who defined the ultimate successful man in the last 8 years it was the indelible "Mr. Big".  Tall, strapping with a large bank account, he was the ultimate fantasy. He was every woman’s dream, and every matchmaker’s nightmare.  "Mr. Big was the one single undoing of many a potential relationship" says Susan Rose, my business partner.  Now that it turns out that so many of the real Mr. Bigs are simply the ultimate imposters, a huge change is occurring in what people are looking for in a potential mate.  Women used to come to us with a list of impossible and unrealistic demands, and we are now finding a major shift.  They are now realizing "Mr.Big" is a phantom, and are asking for "Mr. Real".  So, in fact what's happening in the world is actually having a positive effect on people's personal lives.

As people are becoming more uncertain about their security, jobs and futures, something actually quite beautiful is emerging from the ashes: men and women are looking for connection, kindness, love and respect in ways we hadn't seen before.  People are seeking substance. Gone are the days when the resumes, homes and ultimate lifestyle top the list of requirements for the perfect mate.    People who are losing their jobs are looking to gain relationships.   It is as if a new sense of normality and morality is rising. In the past, an imperfect resume would not have been given a second glance let alone a second date. Instead of judging and disqualifiying, both sexes are taking a closer look at each other and giving each other more opportunity to connect. Both arrogance and stock options seem to both have lost their appeal.

The man who thought he was a player, now realizes that he needs to learn to connect on a different level….he is no longer as tall as his wallet is full, rather is as appealing as his wit is sharp and his thoughtfulness and humility is his new currency .  If there ever was a time when Rudyard Kipling’s “IF’ was relevant, it is now…

“If you can dream and not make dreams your master, If you and think-and not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same”…

Men are learning what it really takes to be a man, and women once realizing that their strength lies in their ability to be kind, gentle understanding and nurturing. This might just be what our world needs right now.  The “me” generation replaced by be “we” generation.

There are 27 million single women over 35 in this country and we are hearing that they no longer need “ to have “it all”. Women seem willing to emotionally reconnect with traditional roles.  They no longer feel the need to outperform their man, but still want to support him.  She is prepared to make him feel strong while she helps put food on the table. Ironically, we have been telling them this for years, but they were all caught up in Mr Big’s bubble.

The men we interiew are telling us that they want to connect with women of substance who can laugh in the face of adversity, and enjoy the simpler things in life. They no longer want trophies that have been bought, but treasures that are to be discovered.

We are sensing a return to a bygone era, where honor , dignity and truth are valued and celebrated.  We can see people finding real happiness because the simpler things in life are so much easier to find when the masks are off, and the expectations are realistic.

This is a time to discover our basic human needs…connection, love, friendship, family and laughter.