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If you are mature and single, you have had experiences. Hopefully, most have been good, but everyone’s got bad ones, too.

This Commitment will ask you for a reality check concerning the specifics of your relationship history. If you have trouble forming happy, lasting relationships, examine your part in that.

Are any of the reasons are within your power to change? It takes some digging to figure out that out, and this Commitment will provide you with a shovel. Identify your relationship patterns, both good bad.

We all have them and that some are productive and others are self-sabotaging. Take a careful look at your relationship history. Is there a pattern that emerges? Think about similarities and themes in men you have chosen, or patterns of how you act on dates or in a relationship.

Getting Started

Step One—Be prepared to accept responsibility for your part in your relationship history, good and bad. It's easy to blame others, but let's take a look at our own role in it.

Step Two —Don’t exclude any part of the dating experience from your scrutiny. Just because you think he should open doors and pull out chairs for you doesn’t mean you’re sending the right message if you seem disappointed on a date when he doesn’t.

Step Three—Be aware of subtleties that might actually be date-sabotage—like arriving late, being distracted, acting like you'd rather be somewhere else.

Don't Forget

It’s difficult to honestly examine your dating habits—you might be surprised by your own actions.

Commitment 2: Exercise

This is another question-and-answer session for women to hold with themselves. We’re looking for dating habits, actions and quirks that might actually be sabotaging your dating life. The answers to the following questions will put those habits and actions into perspective.

• When faced with the prospect of dating, how do you react? Is it invigorating? Or do you dread it?
• Has it ever felt like you're doing the guy a big favor? Or like he's doing you one? How often?
• Do you talk too much out of nervousness or fear of long silences? Or are you the silent type who let him do all of the heavy lifting and give an occasional nod or one word answer?
• Do you show up for drinks dressed for a client meeting, or decked out in an outfit only other women would appreciate?
• Is your conversation about the latest discount fashion sale, or trashing your ex and his new girlfriend?
• Are you one of those gals who can’t help looking around the room checking out the rest of the male ‘talent?’
• Do you judge and disqualify people, thereby keeping yourself alone and ‘safe?’ Or are you too accepting of intolerable behavior and turn yourself into a pretzel to accommodate someone?

Now, talk to a trusted friend or two who know you well, discuss what you came up with and find out if he/she agrees or may have some additional light to shed on your patterns. (Ex-boyfriends in good standing are an excellent source of insight).